Specialist recruitment consultancy Gold Group claims to be in the process of recruiting a new Pope – yes, we’re not averse to a bit of leg pulling on Recruiter.

Now, if you can suspend your not unreasonable disbelief – the agency does not list ‘ecclesiastical’ as one of its sectors, allow us to take you through some of their key points for what a papal search might require:

• A strong professional. “Pope Benedict XVI came under extreme scrutiny for not being firm enough on his views and tackling issues head on… the new Pope needs to be charismatic in voicing his opinions and making change,” the company says.

• A good communicator. “How better to reach out to your followers than through social media?”, Gold Group asks. With the papacy already on twitter, “the new Pope will need proven experience of being able to effectively communicate on a digital platform”.

• Dedication. “Being the Pope is no easy task. A dedicated professional to their religion and to their people is essential. We suggest looking at candidates who can demonstrate a strong ability to start early and finish late.”

• Don’t just go local. “It is not essential to recruit from the local pool of candidates; however, it can be preferential to source the ideal candidate locally. The new Pope would have a reduced risk of feeling homesick… [but] you should maintain a broad view to ensure the ideal candidate is not missed.”

• Somewhat controversially, perhaps, job sites are a no-no. “In this instance, a jobs board will not cut it. We know where our likely candidates are going to be, the challenge is reaching them effectively.”