How do we add purpose to our business conversations? Those who can master the art of great conversation stand out among their peers, whether around the dinner table or in the boardroom. Great talkers radiate positive energy; they hold your interest and inspire you. Take those talents into the work environment and they can spark off cross-culture co-operation and knowledge share, and can create inspiration and innovation. I call them people who Glow, and they create Hot Spots of activity.

People who Glow are magnetic forces in work and in a social environment. One of their most obvious traits is that they really understand how to hold a good conversation – and luckily, this is a skill that we can develop over time.

People who Glow, and the Hot Spots they inhabit, abound with great conversation – and great conversation is what ties you together as you cooperate with others. So if you want to Glow by finding, flourishing or creating Hot Spots – take a look at how you converse with others. 

Great conversationalists bring emotional authenticity and analytical rigour to their discussions.There are four different ways to have a conversation, based on a combination of how much analytical rationality and emotional authenticity is there:

— Disciplined debate has judgement and compromise;

— Creative dialogue has inspiration and sense-making;

— Intimate exchange has trust-building and empathy; and

— Dehydrated talk has ritual fulfilment and subjugation.

Ask yourself: what way do I most typically converse, and what would it take to make my conversations more rigorous and authentic?

Dehydrated Talk

These conversations contain no doubt, no curiosity, and no puzzling.  Perhaps they feel to you as simply a string of trivial and unrelated fragments.  Dehydrated talk is not the foundation for cooperation, and neither is it the foundation to Glow. So why do you engage in it? Think about the times when dehydrated talk happens to you. My guess is that it happens most often when you are in a formalised situation when you are simply going through the motions, such as a job appraisal. You may also find that your conversation becomes dehydrated when the agendas are tightly defined and you have constrained the opportunities for exploration or discovery. Dehydrated talk does not add any value to anyone.

Disciplined Debate

There are good conversations involving listening to each other, appreciating each other’s point of view and bringing in new information. As you try to perfect the art of conversation you may want to think about one of the greatest conversationalists of all times – the ancient philosopher Socrates. When Socrates engaged in asking questions, he assumed that he could learn most from others and could contributes most to others when he was engaged in disciplined debate. Socrates used the art of conversations to analyse issues and ideas in a systematic way.

Disciplined debate can ignite a Hot Spot as it creates the context in which people feel prepared and able to ask the ‘big questions’ that can really engage and excite others and act as a focus for latent energy. Here are two ways to think about it: ask vigorous and disciplined questions and seek high quality and relevant information.

How do we find high quality and relevant information? This is one of the fundamental links between good conversation and Glowing: remember that sometimes the most interesting and relevant information is outside your immediate circle of colleagues, and take actions accordingly to spread your information search beyond the immediate group. Extending your normal boundaries and networks will help you unlock your potential, as well as those with whom you come in contact.

Intimate Exchange

Emotional openness is often frowned upon in the workplace (often implying irrational behaviour), but this very process of sharing goals and inspirations with others is crucial in sparking co-operation and mutual trust.

Emotional conversations flourish in our private lives and form the basis for appreciating others. If you are to create cooperation as a foundation for Glowing in your work life, you need the same level of empathy, mutual understanding and trust at work. Devote time to conversations: sit down with associates and give them your undivided attention (including turning off your mobile phone and Blackberry!) Be open about your emotions and experiences: this can be tough, particularly if you are working in a bureaucracy or a typical cubicle-type office.  Recognise that you and your colleagues have feelings and emotions that affect your work.

Creative Dialogue

Rationality brings structure to conversations and focuses attention on tangible data.  Emotions are holistic, less amenable to desegregation.  Combining these two areas is essential: like the ying and the yang of Chinese philosophy, the most creative, insightful and energising conversations you can have will occur when the two are combined. Try broadening and widening the topics and converse with people who are interesting and exciting – and who are different from you. Beware of ‘spell breakers: people who drift in and out, physically or intellectually, who remain superficial, who break the spell. I am sure there are people you know who, whenever they enter a room, take away the energy and enthusiasm of everyone in it. Bringing thinking and feeling together is difficult, but the results can be spectacular.

• ·      Lynda Gratton is a professor at London Business School and bestselling author of ‘Hot Spots: why some teams, workplaces and organisations buzz with energy and others don’t’. Her new book ‘Glow: how you can radiate energy, innovation and success’, was published on April 2 by FT Prentice Hall and Berrett-Koehler.www.hotspotsmovement.com