It’s the time of year to resolve to be a better person next year. So you write some thoughts down in readiness for 1 January. If you are still as resolved at the end of January, it’s a miracle.

There will be a couple of simple things you will do that won’t make the resolve work.

One will be SHOULD. In my current beliefs, ‘should’ will not help.

Write out a list of the things you should be doing.

Should drink less. Should go to the gym more often. Should phone mother more.

When you’ve finished, notice that you’re not doing any of those should because there is no motivation. Shoulds just induce feelings of guilt. That’s why there’s no action attached.

The next is DON’T.

Don’t drink as much. Don’t eat unhealthy food. I may have already asked you “Don’t think about the colour blue”. And you begin to think blue. That’s because your unconscious is unable to process negation.

Listen to parents talking to children in ‘don’t’. Don’t drop that glass. Don’t forget to call me.

So clean up your language and give yourself better instructions.

MORE IMPORTANT is your attachment to time that prevents you getting what you want. Allow me to explain. Time does not exist. It is a human construct, something like religion.

There is no denying its usefulness. I find it helpful to agree to meet a client at 10am and we both understand our commitment. We both show up and that works.

Let us suppose for a moment that the Universe is perfectly organised and there is a conspiracy that provides you with exactly what you want. That is pretty much the basis for The Secret and The Law of Attraction.

The missing piece in most people’s application of the idea is that of a deadline. I don’t believe the Universe has deadlines. Yet we expect to write business plans and resolutions that have deadlines attached. And are surprised when they don’t happen.

Try this. Get very clear about one thing that you want to have happen. Something fairly small to begin with. Get very specific about it. “I want to be able to holiday for two weeks” is not specific enough.

Describe the amount of money you will need for it to manifest, and where you want to go. Create the level of detail that would make it so whoever is in charge of fulfilling the order knows exactly what you want. Then, drop your attachment to time. Just keep thinking about it happening.

Report back.

Ed Percival is a business coach with Shirlaws Business Coaching www.shirlawscoaching.com