Dealing with difficult employees

In life, we all come across difficult people, but none seem as challenging so much as the ones we encounter at work. This is because work is such a big part of our life, both in terms of time spent there and the way in which it influences our thoughts, actions, finances, family life and so on. Having to work with or lead difficult workers has to be one of the most miserable experiences there is. The sooner you learn to deal with a difficult colleague — and ideally get to the core of their issues so you can help them become less difficult — the better.

Look at why someone is being difficult. Is it because they feel uncertain about what you expect from then and so lash out? Do they feel unappreciated? Do you let them gain control of a situation when you’re meant to be leading? Once you find the underlying cause and identify recurring patterns you can start taking measures to resolve the situation. Here are a few possibilities to consider when discerning why someone is being difficult and what you can do about it.

1.    When you communicate with a colleague or subordinate, it’s important to be clear about your message. This applies to both written and oral communication. The person you’re interacting with needs to know what it is exactly that you’re asking for or telling her. Having an understanding of what she’s doing and why, makes her less likely to be hostile towards you and her work than if she’s unclear on what she’s doing and where she stands, leading to feelings of insecurity.

2.    As challenging and pointless as it might seem, show the employee that you appreciate him. His issues with you or the employer may be as simple as feeling underappreciated at work. Although he’s being difficult, he will still have some good qualities and valuable skills. Reflect on what these are and try to draw them out of him by showing you appreciate these sides of him. Show this appreciation by demonstrating genuine interest in his ideas. Give regular feedback, being specific and honest about his good points and what you find less good, stressing that you just want him to do himself and the company justice by constantly improving and evolving. When discussing what he could improve on, be specific about how he could improve. This gives him something to work towards, rather than something else to feel frustrated about.

3.    Keep control of the situation. Difficult employees often find little ways to undermine their leader before the leader even realises what’s happening. For instance, is there a member of your team who always interrupts you when you’re trying to speak at a meeting or make an announcement? Recognize this as the game-playing it is and take action to regain control. The next time the person interrupts, simply state, “You interrupted me” and pick up where you left off. This immediately shows, without the need for drama, that you know what they’re up to and you won’t stand for it, because you’re in charge.

4.    Let the person vent. In a one-on-one situation, if a difficult individual is intimidating you through a verbal attack, it can be easy just to agree with her in order to get out of the situation. This sends out an undesirable message to both the employee and other workers. It tells the employee that she can get away with this hostile-aggressive behaviour and implies to the others that the best way to deal with this employee is to indiscriminately agree with everything she says.  Instead, let her vent until she runs out of steam. Once she’s done, stand up for yourself by putting forward a reasoned counter-argument. If this person is used to people backing down, she’s likely to be caught off-guard and will end up considering your points instead of blindly coming back at you with more abuse.

These suggestions show that dealing with a difficult employee does not have to be as overwhelming as it seems. Usually it’s simply a case of denying the individual in question the controlling power they currently know they have over you.

Nisa Chitakasem is the co-founder of career change specialists www.positionignition.com. Position Ignition specialises in career change, career planning and helping people to find more fulfilling roles and be clear about the right career direction for them. For a host of career advice tips, tricks and articles visit their Career Change Blog or follow them on Twitter @PosIgnition or Facebook. Visit Position Ignition for Organisations for ways to help your organisation with senior workers

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