How to deal with whinging staff

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 | By Alan Fairweather

Do you have any people on your team who continually whinge and complain?

I was speaking with Ross at the gym the other night. He’s a manager of an IT department in a large insurance company. He was telling me about the people in his team who are always whinging about something or other.

The way Ross puts it: “They have a good job, they’re well paid and their working conditions are excellent! They’ve nothing to complain about, and I’m fed up listening to them.”

I’m afraid that this attitude will only continue to make life hard for Ross!

If you have people on your team like this, then you may feel, like Ross, that there’s not much you can do; but there is, so stay with me.

Instead of ignoring, or trying to deal with whatever it is they’re whinging or complaining about, it’s much more productive to stop the complaints in the first place. Spend less time ‘fire fighting’ and more time on ‘fire prevention’.

If managers create the right working environment for their team, then they’re less likely to experience whinging staff.

When you have to deal with one of your team who’s complaining, rather than allowing your negative programming to take over, get the thinking part of your brain in gear and try to see the situation the way they see it. You don’t necessarily have to agree with them, but perhaps you can empathise with their point of view.

The successful manager thinks about the people they have to deal with, is sensitive to how they see things, and knows that their team members may think differently than they do.

Here are two ways to deal with whinging staff:

1. Spend some time with them

What you want is quality time not quantity time. One or two minutes of quality time on a regular basis are far more productive than an appraisal every six months or once a year.

You need to get to know your individual team members better and they need to get to know you. Build a relationship with each individual and you’ll gain a much better understanding of them as a person, and their ability to do the job. It lets them know that you care about them, and shows that you’re there to help with problems both business and personal.

Find out as much about them as you can, their background, where they’re from, their families and how they like to spend their leisure time. Build your understanding of how they think and how they feel. Just think about it like any other relationship – what do you want to know about this person?

I’m not suggesting you sit around all day gazing into each other’s eyes or spend half the night talking on the phone. What I am suggesting is that you do this over time, slowly and surely – building up your understanding of this person. And, don’t get nervous; this isn’t prying!

You might think that your team members won’t want you to get to know them that well. Well let me reassure you – most of them will, if it’s done discreetly.

Almost everyone wants to know that someone else is genuinely and positively interested in them. They may not always give that impression by their demeanour but trust me – they want to know you care; they want acceptance from you.

If they know you care about them, then your relationship will be much more productive.

2. Concentrate on the positive

Here’s another way to deal with a whinging team member.

Concentrate on what they do well and tell them about it. Spend less time trying to resolve something they don’t do well or even ignore it.

It’s also very easy for a manager or supervisor to fall into the trap of condemning one of their team as a no-hoper or a problem child.

It may turn out that this person shouldn’t be on your team, and you may need to help them find another position.

However as Abraham Lincoln once said about someone he had a problem with:

“I don’t think I like that man, I must get to know him better.” 

Some food for thought. Get to know each member of your team much better. Concentrate on what they do well. And you’re less likely to have whinging staff.

Alan Fairweather, ’The Motivation Doctor,’ is an international speaker, best-selling author and sales growth expert.

How To Manage Difficult People
Alan Fairweather
ISBN 978-1-84528-391-9
Available at all good bookstores priced at £10.99
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